jokes – blonde’s alligator shoes

A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn’t want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price.”
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, “Damn, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either.”

jokes – not for blondes!

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

mathematical jokes

Few jokes based on the numeral bases!

“There are only 10 types of people in the world . Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.” – 10 in binary is 2.

“If only DEAD people understand hexadecimal, how many people understand hexadecimal? ” – 57005. DEAD in hexadecimal is 57005 in decimal.

“Why do mathematicians think Halloween and Christmas are the same? ” – Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec. 31 in Octal representation is 25 in Decimal.

Jokes – Credit crunch and financial crisis – laugh it off!

On a lighter note on the credit crunch and the financial crisis.

President Bush said clients shouldn’t be concerned by all these bank closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.

George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman brothers…His thoughts at this time ‘go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.’

There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. Rest are sub-prime.

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.

Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back.

For Geography students: What’s the capital of Iceland? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty

From a trader: ‘This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.’

What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common? They both have frozen assets

When asked about Credit Crunch, Bush replied : its my favourite morning cereal

Jokes – Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him around the Head with a frying pan.
‘”What was that for?” the man asked.
The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket”.
The man then said “When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on”
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. “Your horse phoned”